ssǝɹddns ɹou ɹɐǝɟ ɹǝɥʇıǝu plnoʍ ʎʇǝıɔos ǝǝɹɟ ʎlnɹʇ ɐ ʇɐɥʇ ƃuıʇnɔolɯnɔɹıɔ suıɐʇuoɔ ǝʇıs sıɥʇ

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Sunday morning one-liners

1. The NFC Eastern division is home to 11 Super Bowl trophies, none of which are in Philthydumpia.

2. While a financially obliterated Scranton disappears into the ground a la Carrie White, WILK’s talk jocks continue to badmouth Wilkes-Barre at every opportunity.

3. Is Wilkes-Barre poised to lose it’s two-newspaper status? I sure hope not.

4. After reading and listening intently for months on end, I can’t come up with 11 county council candidates that seem worthy of a vote.

5. Big upset on election day? Try Maureen Lavelle for city council.

6. With societal decay being what it is---being surrounded by circus tent freaks, dope-infested welfare cheats and the invading, bedraggled hordes with the fake IDs---I find my long-suppressed auto-hostility issues creeping back into the mix.

7. Despite the valiant and somewhat fruitful efforts of my daughter Peace, I have finally accepted the fact that I will never meet my father.

8. To the apologists and bashers: Point a gun, any gun, at a police officer and you will be shot. Bummer.

9. No names, but what does it tell you when the vast, vast majority of a candidate’s yard signs are displayed on public properties?

10. We’re finally leaving Iraq? Good! Now let’s get our people the hell out of hell. Er, Afghanistan.


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