ssǝɹddns ɹou ɹɐǝɟ ɹǝɥʇıǝu plnoʍ ʎʇǝıɔos ǝǝɹɟ ʎlnɹʇ ɐ ʇɐɥʇ ƃuıʇnɔolɯnɔɹıɔ suıɐʇuoɔ ǝʇıs sıɥʇ



Saturday, May 21, 2011

Yorkies from Muckadonia

Long story short, Wifey wants a Yorkie. Preferably, a puppy.
We recently pedaled to a pet shop here in Wilkes-Barre only to learn that these glorified rats start at $700. While I usually relent to her rare whims, I am not paying piles of cash for an overly nervous ewok smaller than my work boot.

Just this past Sunday, the following classified ad appeared on the printed pages of the Times Leader…

YORKIE PUPPIES: Two puppies. Free to good home. Contact: tiltonmichaeel81@yahoo.com

So I sent an email to that email address telling somebody or other that we were very, very interested in the puppies. Well, that Wifey was interested.

Now, I’m sure most of you have received email pulses very similar to this…

Hi, my name is Zaphod Mamuckia Tooterhonk and my father--the deposed foreign minister--is imprisoned in South Muckadonia, Africa.

I need your help in transferring our net wealth estimated at $3 billion U.S. dollars to a bank in your country. And if you would kindly provide me with your name, address, social security number, bank routing number and favorite color, I will pay you 10% of our fortune.

Er, something like that.

Anyway, check out my email reply from the person who placed the classified ad in the Times Leader…

Hello,


Thank you very much and am sorry for the late reply,I'm very very happy to read from you about your response on taking good care of the babies.They are 14weeks old and both home trained and outdoor trained also playful with other animals and kids. The male named (Adam) weigh 2lbs and the female named (Eve) weigh 2.5lbs and will weigh big when fully grown. they are both A K C registered and shots are given up to date and both home trained. both of them are my darling sweetheart and super spoiled! They both have a sweet personality and loves to play and be carried around.


But i'm very sorry to tell you that it is too late for you to get the babies now. What really happened was that i just left the state for Africa in some few days ago after i posted the the ad the 2 Yorkshire Terrier Puppies on the newspaper and before i left, i did not get any response from anybody that could take very good care of them for me. So i got a missionary call from our missionary head quaters in Africa,then i have to bring the babies along with me here in Africa since i couldn't find someone to adopt them before i left the state.


I'm still willing to give the babies out to someone who can take very good care of them for me forever. All papers will accompany the puppies when shipped to you, Due to our long staying over here in Africa, and the bad weather my Wife and I have concluded to get good home and care for our babies. We are not charging or selling them to you for money but to save their lifes saved and care for them so this means that, you and i will be paying for the shipment of the puppies to you. they are VET checked, but right now we are in Africa on a Christian mission with my wife and 3 kids together with Eve and Adam,we have the puppies right here with us.


We are going to ship to you via a Dispatch Courier Service Company with Express Delivery on next day delivery,If you are really interested in having my little babies, i will like you to get back to me with the Below information i can find out shipping cost to your Nearest Airport and we both responsible for the shipping


Your Full Name :
Your Mailing Address:
Your Tel #:
Your Cell Phone #:
The Nearest Airport To You:


I've attached pictures of Adam and Eve.


Please if you know that you are not capable of taking very good care of my babies, do not reply me because i am giving them out because of bad condition and we're spending months for the Christian mission and i don't want Eve and Adam to die in this bad weather. And because we don't have time to take care of them due to the missionary work before us here.They are priceless to me,therefore i am giving both for free.


Thank you and God bless you and your family.
Yours In Christ,
Rev.Michael

So let me think this through.

You’re on a do-gooder mission in some deep, dark, remote jungle in Africa. You’re probably surrounded by lions, tigers, rhinos, elephants, giraffes, hyenas and AK-toting Marxist revolutionaries competing against the upstart Islamic terrorists. But the local zoning ordinances do not allow for Yorkie Puppies?

Whatever.

Enjoy the Rapture, Rev. Michael. And please tell God this has been long, long overdue.

But just in case it's postponed due to inclement weather, I am going to contact the Times Leader on Monday morning. And if the Leader folks are smart, they will in turn contact the district attorney's office.
Later

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