ssǝɹddns ɹou ɹɐǝɟ ɹǝɥʇıǝu plnoʍ ʎʇǝıɔos ǝǝɹɟ ʎlnɹʇ ɐ ʇɐɥʇ ƃuıʇnɔolɯnɔɹıɔ suıɐʇuoɔ ǝʇıs sıɥʇ



Saturday, May 28, 2011

Rules to live by

I ain't had any time for this electronic tomfoolery of late.

You see, termites have occupied far too much of my time. I haven't had any appreciable time off for a long, long stretch. So while a three-day weekend sounds like a plan, Icy/Hot will be in the holiday mix.

I bought one of those official American Legion poppies from a veteran posted up outside of Schiel's. Funny thing it is, doing the right thing by dropping a five spot on this tiny trinket of a thing. Millions upon millions upon untold millions have donated their lives for our freedoms. Me? I donated five bucks.

I have to tell you, when the local televisions stations go wall-to-wall covering the approaching killer storms, I giggle at the ridiculous spectacle. Likewise, when local talk radio is dominated for hours on end by talk of the approaching killer storms and all things emergency preparedness, I have to reach out and touch 102.3...The Mountain. Sorry, but I can only take so much useless hysteria somehow passing as a public service.

I don't need any help from any source preparing for the onrushing death clouds, save for the local beer distributorship. When the lightning got to the point where it seemed dangerous outside, when the rain was blowing flat-out sideways, when the neighbor's tree was bending about as far as I've seen it bend, I cracked me a beer and headed on out to the front porch to take in all of nature's free entertainment.

All I can say is, if you grabbed the emergency supplies and holed up in the basement tightly clutching that book containing all of your ancient rules of ancient date, you freaking missed one helluva kick-ass storm.

And since the temperatures are supposed to climb to levels that the alert-mongers claim can be dangerous to your well-being, you might as well stay in your well-stocked subbasements. As for those of us not prone to bouts of effeminate hysteria, we'll be out there bicycling these abandoned streets sans the girlie sunscreen.

And with all of that circumlocution having been suffered through, Markie's rules to live by...

1. Work hard

2. Play even harder

3. Try not to look or sound like a big pussy

Later

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