Mental incontinence

Even though I haven’t exactly been prolific of late, I’ve been writing about local issues on the dreaded Internet for a very long time. In fact, one of my earliest posts attracted the ire of none other than Joseph McCarthy. True story.

Maybe.

Anywho, throughout the years, I’ve pretty much said what I wanted to say about pretty much everyone you could possibly imagine. And being that my incessant scribbling was always very local in nature, I’ve been treated to a few shouting matches, curses you have yet to discover, middle fingers, chest bumps and a couple of thoroughly laughable bicycle chases through the city.

And despite all of the (self) “important” people I’ve annoyed over these many years, and despite all of the regrettable encounters I’ve had as a direct result, only once was I threatened with retribution by a local businessman. A, ahem, “businessman” who sues first and asks questions later. A businessman who’s modus operandi is filing suit against everything and anyone that stands in the way of his, ahem, empire.

So, I would say to my fellow NEPA bloggers, choose your words wisely as the latest chapter of our corruption saga unfolds.

Go easy, man.

I’m going to make a statement here, and I challenge everyone within spitting distance to take serious issue with it.

That, them, there statement…

Our country is hopelessly adrift and totally bereft of capable leadership.

Have at it, myrmidons.

How many years has it been since Ross Perot made reference to “that giant sucking sound,” in which meaningful jobs would be sucked right out of the country?

At this sad point, is there a single person still willing to take issue with that demonstratively stated prediction?

And speaking of private sector jobs (remember them?), if people were actually gainfully employed and making a decent buck, they would have health care and dental care and eye care. There would be no need for the Fedrule Govmint to take on any more teat enhancement surgery. But, as the mealy-mouthed, feel-good leftists would have it, we’d be nothing without those greatly engorged teats, now would we?

We’ve gotten things so completely bass-backwards, I seriously doubt that things can be straightened out. We’re done. The experiment in representative democracy was awesome while it lasted, but all that’s left is the pumped-up teat for far too many of us who are lazily and happily hanging from.

Here’s where we’re at, kiddies: The Fedrule Govmint will supply you with extended unemployment benefits, health care (someday, maybe), tax breaks for a new refrigerator, but no real future.

What’s not to like?

But if you’re a public sector employee, well, enjoy your early, taxpayer-supplied retirement. And if you need anything else, let us know and we'll raise taxes all over again. Oh, and, see you in November.

The border. Ah, the damned border. The Fedrule Govmint outright refuses to enforce our borders. Namely, our southern (former) border.

I realize that the “southern border” sounds like an expansive thing too completely large to be controlled by any force no matter how motivated, but the border in question, the border that the Feds supposedly can’t handle encompasses all of four states; New Mexico, Texas, Arizona and California.

We can invade Iraq. We can invade Afghanistan. We are probably days away from having to invade North Korea as a reflexive move, but we can’t enforce a border shorter than the Great Wall of China.

You tell me, man. I chase subterranean termites, not illegal invaders that should probably be shot on sight.

Oh, and Tom Corbett versus Casablanca PA?

Sure, Corbett couldn’t have made a bigger and more potentially fatal election year gaffe, but I got absolutely no time, nor any compassion for anonymous pussies.

There, I said it.

I think the NEPA BLOGS site needs new management. I see we’ve got yet another wave of new entries into the NEPA blogosphere. And I also see that those recently added authors aren’t real big on authoring much of anything.

Okay, the Valley Scanner guy has kept busy, but the name of the site alone is enough to steer traffic away from it.

What if I created a site called Dog Grooming 101 and then proceeded to offer in-depth political commentary on that mal-named site? Would anyone see my commentary excepting for the chicks in dire need of an overpriced puppy bath?

Methinks not.

Another thing that struck me while visiting the newest sites sure to be extinct within a fortnight, the “view my complete profile” tab.

Yeah, as effing if.

When your complete profile lists a gender and a county, you might want to do away with the purposeful vagueness that is the useless profile and put a disclaimer on your main page that reads: “I want to be as loud-mouthed as the next clueless bastard, but I’m too timid to do so under my own name.”

You know, I’m yet another anonymous pussy.

That would work quite nicely.

I talked to the Feds yesterday afternoon.

No, seriously, I did. I received an offer of a bribe if I could help some new found local politico curry favor with the current administration of this Democrat-dominated city.

I received an email, and then a follow-up phone call from the 4th Ward committeeman in Nanticoke, and he was offering a satchel full of Mercury dimes if I could arrange a clandestine meeting with the city principles of his choice.

So I told him in no uncertain terms that I’m an ethical and principled kind of strange guy. And nothing, nothing short of some mid-1800s Flying Eagle nickels could get me to risking a stint in prison.

Or, perhaps some three-cent nickels. Or, a set of those long-banned lawn darts. Perhaps a Biff Pocoroba rookie card. A set of Girders & Panels. Some Lost in Space die-cast vehicles. Maybe a Richard Petty tin-friction car. An original Spirograph. Or an all-expense paid trip to Marcia Bradyland.

Ah, forget I typed all of that.

Certainly won’t help my chances of copping a plea.

Hey, I was wondering. You don't suppose that the Philthydumpia Phillies could actually rise up and earn the wild-card slot, do you?

Later