The Approaching Storm or: Bikeabout?

I have to admit to wanting to be burned alive yesterday while WILK’s Steve Corbett was (once again) lecturing some of us about having laughed off the recent earthquake, and meanwhile imploring us to take Hurricane Irene seriously.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s not like we haven’t heard that oft-repeated clarion call before: Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. You know me…blah, blah, blah.

But I do have to say, Corbett’s message was spot-on correct. As a former Boy Scout, I understand the criticality of being prepared before endeavoring to do much of anything out-of-doors. He was right. Needless lecturing aside, he nailed it.

As for myself, I’m not easily concerned, not prone to biting my fingernails over much of anything, nor am I in the least afraid of what Mother Nature regularly has to offer.

Case in point: There’s still a YouTube video on the Internet I uploaded after gleefully bicycling through 3-plus-feet of onrushing water delivered by the-then mother-in-law of all late summer thunderstorms.

Case in point: A lightning bolt struck the PP&L-owned utility pole directly behind this modest adobe just hours ago. My grandson ran screaming from his perch, Wifey retreated as fast as she could, while I headed out back for a closer look. Cool. Way cool.

Those of you who have stupidly followed my ridiculously ill-advised exploits for far too long now know I could go on and on and on. I won't go on and on. You're welcome.

Anyway, my point is not my lifelong fascination with inclement weather gone full-blown violent and dangerous.

My real point is that while the media outlets running the A-to-Z gamut are warning us of the fast-impending cataclysm, they are simultaneously beckoning us via their Web sites to send them our storm-related pictures, videos and tweets.

In other words, while they tell us to run away and hunker down far from the approaching killer storm, they likewise invite us to get on out there in the tumultuous mix and capture some amazing images, and then upload the startling and dramatic images directly to them. That is, assuming we aren’t killed in the process while playing amateur photographer or videographer.

Then again, I was the guy who bicycled to the center of the Black Diamond bridge in 2006 when the Susquehanna River was trying to overtake it, the dikes, and the entire valley.

And I’ll never forget what came over the police scanner while the water’s deafening roar…while that fast-moving water that was coming over the railroad tracks and soaking my imported athletic moccasins had my adrenaline pump firing: 911 to #5**, “We have a report of an idiot standing in middle of the Black Diamond bridge.”

The WBPD came from that side. CP Rail police came from the other side. And the purported idiot pedaled off never to be heard from again. 

Uh, that is, save for the unattributed video and still frames WNEP received and featured.

So, as you can see, while the media types tell us in unison to head for the proverbial hills now dotted with gas drilling rigs, they invite us to first take pause in the face of the fast-approaching calamity, capture an image or two, and then upload the images to them…hopefully…hopefully before the killer waves overtake us. Hopefully.

I’m just saying.

And before you launch into lecturing me some more about useless safety sh*t I mostly care nothing about, know that I identify more with a character from the movie Platoon--Bunny--than probably anyone else who has ever tried and failed to influence me since I was old enough to know that I should know better.

And I quote:

You know Junior, some of the things we've done, man... I don't feel like we've done something wrong. Sometimes, man... I get this bad feeling. I told the padre the truth man, I like it here. Get to do what you want, nobody fu>ks with you. The only worry you got is dying. And if that happens you won't know about it anyway. So what the fu>k, man?

Later