ssǝɹddns ɹou ɹɐǝɟ ɹǝɥʇıǝu plnoʍ ʎʇǝıɔos ǝǝɹɟ ʎlnɹʇ ɐ ʇɐɥʇ ƃuıʇnɔolɯnɔɹıɔ suıɐʇuoɔ ǝʇıs sıɥʇ

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Aggravated assault by way of a cassette player? or: Kids today!

"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it, They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal. [...] Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island. They need to have and we need to pray for them a great turning to god and out of this tragedy I'm optimistic something good may come."--Pat Robertson

Could be worse. They could be New York Jets fans.

A caller to Sue Henry’s talk show on WILK suggested that opponents of natural gas drilling in Northeastern Pennsylvania are foolish because, as he put it, “…they’ll work out the kinks.”

Sure, they, the companies doing the drilling, might eventually work out the kinks. Maybe. But, assuming they eventually…eventually figure out how to fracture the bedrock by pumping millions of gallons of water and hazardous chemicals into it without tainting the water supply, what is the end result for the folks who had their properties drilled early on? Uh, a tainted water supply.

What good is a hefty royalty check if your water table is rendered unsuitable for human consumption?

Answer me that.
From the Times Leader:

Man charged in high school burglaries

WILKES-BARRE - A man was charged by city police on Friday on allegations he burglarized two high schools in Wilkes-Barre.

Brandon M. Sack, 24, of North Main Street, Wilkes-Barre, was charged with forcing his way inside Wilkes-Barre Area's GAR High School on Jan. 3, and Holy Redeemer High School on Jan. 6.

Police allege once inside the two schools, he pried open vending machines stealing money.
Sack was previously charged with burglarizing GAR on Jan. 9.

Sack was arraigned by District Judge Martin Kane in Wilkes-Barre and was remanded to the Luzerne County Correctional Facility. He is jailed for lack of $60,000 total bail.

Make checks payable to: The Bail Out Markie’s Idiot Nephew Fund.

Sorry, but I’m all out of tough love. I know he was dealt a tough, tough hand by life, but it was no tougher than the hand I was dealt. In the end, despite the obstacles, the trials and the tribulations and the many frustrations that accompany them…there’s just no excuse for the tilt towards criminality.

I taught this kid exactly what I taught my kids. Get a job, work hard, work harder and try to do the right thing more often than not. But never did I suggest that an occasional arrest or two was acceptable. Whatever.

It is what it is. Or as Francis Vincent Zappa once said, “You are what you is, and that‘s all it is.”

And now, a private message for Gort. If you are not Gort, please scroll past this blurb. Don't you look. Don't do it.

Dude, if you’re interested, I happen to own a kick-ass stapler. It doesn’t hurt none too much, being stapled.

Don’t ask me how I know.

From the Times Leader:

Barrett: Set maximum towing prices in W-B

The City Council president has received complaints on rates some towers charge.

WILKES-BARRE – City Council President Bill Barrett said he’s moving forward with plans for an ordinance that would set maximum rates that towing companies could charge for removing vehicles from privately owned property within city boundaries.

Barrett said he has received several complaints regarding the fees some towers charge for removing unauthorized vehicles from private property, as well as the “predatory” practice by some towers who remove cars even if a complaint has not been lodged by the property owner.
The proposed ordinance would regulate rates and would also dictate the circumstances under which a car could be towed, he said.

Predatory towing practices?

Does anyone know which tower or towers he might be referring to? Gee whiz, I can’t figure it out. (Wink, wink)

Personally, I’ve never had the misfortune of having my vehicle towed, because I never park illegally.

Am I smart, or what?

Times Leader again:

Fears of fight prompt delay for basketball

The Wyoming Valley West vs. Coughlin game, originally set for Friday night, will instead tip off today in Plymouth.
PLYMOUTH – Citing concerns voiced by parents that an apparent tiff between some students at the two schools could spill into a basketball game slated for Friday night, Wyoming Valley West and Wilkes-Barre Area school districts postponed the WVW-Coughlin game to this afternoon, WVW Superintendent Chuck Suppon said.

“There is some tension between some students. I don’t think that it has been substantiated that it is based on race,” Suppon said, “And we want to make sure that anyone going to the game, and that the facility itself, is safe.”

The delay from a previously planned 7 p.m. tip-off Friday night to a 1:30 p.m. varsity tip-off today at WVW High School will help the district and Plymouth police arrange additional security.

At first glance, this kind of annoyed me.

But after further review, being that kids these days can’t limit themselves to trading punches and often opt to employ chains, knives and firearms, I have no qualms with any of this. Truth is, I prefer brawls that are sporadic, even spasmodic, over the planned-out variety.

I got caught up in one of these brawl events in the mid-70s. At the time, Coughlin flat-out sucked at basketball despite having the league’s leading scorer. Polacheck, I think his name was.

Anyway, we were going toe-to-toe with then powerhouse Nanticoke, and time was running out in our standing-room-only gym. Following orders from the bench, one of our players fouled a hard-charging Nanticoke player in possession of the ball, which caused him to tumble head-first into the bleachers. A hard, hard foul, no doubt. But I was there, and it did not look deliberate. It just seemed like momentum plus the added shove led to the violent tumble.

Here’s the incendiary part:

Being that Nanticoke was (and probably still is) Lilly white, and being that a very large black player (McGahee) from Coughlin added the shove, one of the Nanticoke parents stood up and shouted the “N” word. You know the word. The big one. The word you use if and when you want a fight with those folks sporting a permanent tan.

It started slow at first, the black kid yelled back at the parent, other fans stood up and chimed in, the Coughlin bench leapt to it’s feet, the Nanticoke bench did likewise, and finally, an adult from the Nanticoke side lurched out of the bleachers and took a swipe at the offending kid sporting that skin color that Nanticoke circa 1973 or so didn’t seem to care for. And all hell broke loose.

As for myself, I was sitting in the top of the pop-out bleachers with my back to Washington Street. And even though I had no particular beef with anyone from Nanticoke, I did what I always did. Smart or not, I followed my older cousin’s lead by racing down those bleachers at breakneck speeds and sucker-punching (sort of) the first sumbitch I encountered that did not appear to be a Coughlin supporter.

For all I know, he was a sportswriter. For all I knew, he was a Coughlin band parent. But the brawl was on, he was not wearing any red and blue, and he was setting off a proximity alert in my scrambled brain.

And just as soon as the agitated-looking police officers started filtering into the gym from across the street, it was Exit Stage Left right out of the door leading to the alley.

The difference being, these days, a gym brawl could easily lead to gunplay. But back in the good old days, about the worst you could expect was getting cold cocked by a portable Craig cassette player.

If I had it to do over, I would have never assaulted that guy as I did. Thing is, I rendered the cassette player completely inoperable. And I destroyed my beloved copy of Chicago II that Jeff Fox had taped for me. I can still see that skinny tape unwinding from the plastic reel as it flew away. Finances being what they were at that time--nonexistent--there’s a do-over I’d engage.

As for that guy lying stunned on the hardwoods with the bloodied face…screw ‘im. He was probably from Nanticoke anyways.


Kids today, heh?


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