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Tuesday, November 8, 2022

It's over!

Thank goodness this electioneering is all but behind us. I have not seen this many criminals proudly on display since taking in G.A.R. sporting events.

Speaking of that shuttered correctional facility used as a high school, now that our three high schools have merged into one my grandsons asked for my thoughts when I offered this: If a girl offers you drugs, she's from Meyers. If a girl offers you sex, she's from G.A.R. Nailed it!

This guy posted a picture of the demolition of the former WNEP building and it got us to giggling about my ill-fated appearance on Bowling for Dollars with Jay Kristopher.

See, before you got on set and rolled, you sat on toadstools in Hatchy Malatchy Land so he could scribble notes on a cue card about you before he shoved a microphone into your face on camera. Basic interview stuff like where you work, go to school, reside, etc. So we talked about cooking at Percy Brown's which he was very impressed with. Then we gabbed about attending L.C.C.C. As I'm seconds away from stepping out from behind a plywood barrier, my mind is rehearsing Percy Brown's, L.C.C.C., Wilkes-Barre. Done. So the stagehand slides the plywood out of the way, I step out and Jay leans in with "Who's going to win the Super Bowl?" Huh? What? Dude, what the f>ck? The actual bowling went even worse.

I recently sat with a candidate for state representative and her father. It was doubly fun for me since her dad and I bowled together in high school. True story: We participated in a statewide junior bowling tournament. Now, that's statewide, mind you. We rolled at the old YMCA in Williamsport. Nevermind the harrowing road trip in an 1837 Corvair. We rolled on a pair of lanes on which the second highest series of all time was recorded by Dave Wilcox, a former Professional Bowling Association member.

As soon as I released my first offering, I knew this was going to be a good night. I struck and struck and struck some more. It's been a while, but I believe I rolled a 709 series. Not bad for a 17-year-old. Pretty damn good if you happen to have rolled it in a junior bowling tournament. So anyway, months pass and it's all but forgotten until the awards day ceremony in the Coughlin auditorium. the presenter mentions our appearance at the tournament and announces that I finished 112th. 112th!!! Gee, that's impressive. Not!

When the assembly was over and I wandered away, I was still having trouble processing this. 111 junior bowlers threw higher than that!?! Really? So which is worse? Bowling for dollars or for trophies?

This was my first time voting as a resident of Plains, so I was visiting my new polling place for the very first time. And what I learned was that there six or seven identical versions of Medic 2.

Gotta check my fantasy team.

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Effs for darn near everyone.

I just continue to sit here and watch while the end days play out.

The pathetic Dems have been trying to focus on Adolf Saddam Trump, even though he's no longer in office, because of Joe Biden's seemingly endless list of failures: his border crisis, exploding inflation, energy costs, food costs, his troubling attempts to push legalized murder (abortion) onto the nation, his massive spending on foolhardy climate change ideology, his disastrous Afghanistan pullout and on and on. Eff him. Not to mention his cackling, giggling vice whatever. Eff to her.

Even Hillary is out riding her tired broom again. Now she claims the "deplorables" are card-carrying nazis. Funny thing with her is how she was content with influence peddling when the democrats denied her 'her' presidency. But when the republicans did the very same thing she became a vitriolic, name-calling, spiteful witchipoo. Eff her!

And while average Americans are trying not to go financially tits-up, silly Joe tells us we're doing better than before he took office. And with a straight face, no less. With that noted, he hands out a presidential medal to Elton John. So he IS out of his fu>king mind. Proof positive.

You tell me, man. If we needed one face to attach to the phrase serial killer, could we do better than John Fetterman's? Methinks not. Eff off, pretty boy!

Russia wants to start calling Europe the European Theater after a nuke flies and a wider military conflict erupts. Figure that one. Meanwhile China is obviously spoiling for a fight in the Pacific. Eff them! They should stick to germ warfare, something they've proven they're good at.

Luckily, the NFL season is upon us, so we can spend our time not watching the streaming channels we refuse to pay for. Billionaires suck, because billionaires are never content with billions. And eff them, too!

Buh-bye.

Friday, September 9, 2022

No Don, No biggie

So, I missed the big Save America rally. Not really sure why, but the tickets never arrived. Same thing happened to another couple I know of. I suspect that the tickets were denied because I refused to donate cashish to the relentless Trump campaign (or whatever they call it) for down-ballot candidates. Thing is, I have never given a penny to any political candidate. Not once. Not even close.

Ain't no big thing. It's not like I was waiting on concert tickets. I watched the local news the next day only to learn that approximately 300,000 of those dangerous folks threatening democrcy did receive theirs. F>ck you, Biden. Do what you're told by your foreign handlers and quit with the pathetic attempts at cognitive thought. And, again, f>ck you and yours. God (sorry) only knows, you're dry-f>cking all of ours.

I see Governor Wolf made like a true democrat with his electioneering executive order. There's another conniving sumbitch that needs a seriously overdue clip to the lip. I think Republicans need to make like the sickening opposition and vote thrice. It's only fair.

Enough with all of that grotesque morass-a-thon. More ass? That's what young Markie used to think.

Guess what I did to enhance the NFL experience last night. I bought a 30-pack of beer. First one since March 2017. I've done everything asked of me by the medical professionals. Despite the Stroke, I've been increasing the level of exercise. I've shed quite a few pounds, dropping from 229 to my preferred fighting weight of 205.

Anyway, I've been a good boy. So much so, I intend to tell my primary care physician about the 30-pack. In my damaged mind, you gotta let loose every five years or so. It's not like I'm one of those pansexual, drug-addled leftists, for whom everyday seems to be yet another intoxicated threesome. No rules. No judgments. You know, no more catholicism allowed in Amerika.

The doc can't climb up my back too far, this morming 27 of those aforementioned brews were still tucked in here in the man bunker. Beer, batteries, ammo...seems I'm ready for the leftist's utopian tyranny.

How about this one? Being that we've escaped from Wilkes-Barre's much-heralded diversity and it's fast collapsing neighborhoods, where do we think I'd likely go looking for new friends here in the new 'burgh?

Yepper, you nailed it.

Same as it ever was, sans the zip code.

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Safer this!

So, Joe Biden came to town for an invitee-only event and tried to portray Defundocrats as the true pro-law enforcement party ahead of the November midterms. I suppose we law-abiding types should forget about that ill-advised, sad and ultimately destructive "defund the police" command that flowed from the left as the permanently-tanned insurectionists burned city after city.

He touted his "Safer America" plan in which assault weapons are denied to card-carrying Americans in favor of the Taliban. Typical. Safer for whom? Children? Yeah, go kill your unborn children, insipid Defundocrats.

Besides, without borders, Safe and America go together like oil and water. It's safer in Joe's gated world, not ours.

Ah, but the day-long traffic snarl was fun to watch up this way. People, we cannot function without the cross valley expressway being open. Somehow we managed to before it was even thunk of. Figure that one. But why sweat it as the end of days is seemingly upon us?

Let's revisit it, life before the new cross flood zone highway. North street bridge to Wyoming Avenue. Turn right and proceed to Stull Brothers. Make that left through Luzerne, through the rock cut and into the Back Mountain on the 'Dallas Highway'. Yes, we'll stop at Twin Kiss for a swirl, then we're off to Sandy Beach. Red light after red light after red light. But an adventure nonetheless. These days, they get on the new highway, close their eyes and stand on the accelerator. This is not an adventure, this is progress. (?)

Make that trip in a brand new 1966 Datsun as I once did. Now let's talk about adventurism. The thing couldn't handle a New Haven to Wilkes-Barre excursion. Been there, done that...broken down in Hamlin waiting on an exfil. I think my evil motorhead of a step-dad bought that imported go-cart just to further torture my poor mother. And torture it did.

How's that for an arguably brief aside?

When do we start getting pressured to willingly line up for the untested RumpyCox vaccine? (Will gay men never learn?) I got stuck with Moderna A through Z even though I knew I'd be embarrassed to admit to having done so. And here I am still wearing a f>cking irritating face mask. Sorry, no more bullspit vaccines. I'm done with all of the compounding lies. Done.

I saw the Times Leader video proving that a police advisory committee comprised of citizens was in fact the worst idea possible if the goal was improving policing. I will not miss a chance to repeat myself: Policing is best left to the police. Never you mind those stupid-ass would-be cops. Never you mind Democrats. Most importantly, ignore self-impressed women who cannot even manage a legal license plate.

I got a new toy from Scamazon. Again, I'm embarrassed to admit even glancing at Scamazon, the only retail slime worst than Sprawl-Mart. Anyway, I got almost all of my new toy. It was short a key part. We've been trading emails and it's become obvious that Scamazon will not make good on this mistake on their part. All that they've offered is proof of delivery. Yeah, I've conceded on that. I DID receive a package, a package that was incorrectly packed.

As my past electronic scribblings have shown, once a retail concern is added to my "banned" list it never sees another one of my pennies. Scamazon is now on the list.

No biggie. I can make damn near anything with two wheels roll.

Even Bezos' sh*t. I can't wait to see him marooned in space, provided he takes Elon with him. The adults at NASA won't miss them.

Bye

Monday, August 22, 2022

Invasive Adventures

Earlier this week I had a Heart Catheterization and Ventriculoraphy performed at Wilkes-Barre General Hospital. The results were of the desired variety. All good.

Just to be perfectly clear, I'm neither whining nor throwing myself a pity party. It's just that medical adventures have become a mainstay of my new reality. Fret not for me, I'm tougher than I look.

I knew the procedure was necessary and went in there in a positive state of mind. Beforehand I deliberately avoided playing Dr. Google on the interweb so as to not psyche myself out. I knew it had a typical time span of 30 to 60 minutes. Mine ran 64 minutes which surprised me. But, going in there ignorant did in fact unnerve me some when I was on the table staring at the ceiling. No, after being dosed with a radioactive isotope I did not want to watch the proceedings on the drive-in movie screen that was in my face. Go ahead and make grafitti on the walls of my heart but leave me alone now that the sedative has kicked in.

Yes, the nurse applied that aforementioned sedative and the apprehension went poof! Markie all gooder now. Get to hackin' Doc.

Anyway, I'm not waiting on a donor or any horror show stuff such as that. Give me my medications, my supplements and my exercises. I'll see you out there on the levee while speedily buzzing appointed pussies with an electric vehicle.

Oh, I landed two tickets for the September 3rd Save America rally with D.J. Trump at the Muckhegan Son Arena.

Be still my heart.

Later

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Make Amerikans Tough Again

Oh no! Not foul language! Not judgemental hatred! Didn't the leftists make that offensive sort of stuff illegal?

As for me, I love it.

Now go pout at your drum circle.

Friday, August 19, 2022

Freakin' throwback Friday

There once was this electronic oasis. A mirage, if you will.

Got me, man. All I did was drink and type. Well, when I wasn't cycling.

Miss it, I do.

Clintel crazies

Some of these freaking scientists need to be beaten down by the oft-violent leftists. You are not allowed to deviate from what the latest edict orders you to believe.

There is no climate emergency

What nerve.

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Do-gooder tyrants

Just as soon as people are elected or appointed to a position of supposed authority, they set off on some inane do-gooder claptrap about public safety.

Since I was a small child, I've heard the incessant noise about the evil and danger associated with smoking cigarettes. Now that people are vaping rather than lighting up, the would-be power brokers are lining up against vaping. Figure that one out. If there's a miniscule bit of logic involved, I fail to grasp it.

I went and had me a huge health freak out. Immediately afterwards, I traded my beloved Newports for electronic cigarettes. My blood pressure then dropped like the Biden economy. Works for me. Got a problem with that? F>ck off, tyrant!

Near and dear...

Next we've got the half-century-long outright demand that we save Mother Earth in part by switching to electric vehicles. And as we all know, the Euro-weenie greenies just love bicycles as a principle form of transport. Currently, one of the biggest growth industries is the manufacture and sale of electric bicycles, pedal-assist and otherwise.

They are transformative in that people are cycling more than ever before, they are not burning liquified dinosaurs, they make cycling possible for the somewhat disabled and the elderly. They are relatively inexpensive game changers.

I myself have been studiously tooling away on my newly converted Hummer, which is of the pedal-assist variety. I cannot wait to wear it out. Try, that is. The Hummer has rolled 17,000 miles since 2006 and had only one tune-up. A tune-up performed by our bicycle pros at Around Town Bicycles in downtown Wilkes-Barre. Thing is, I seriously doubt that it can be worn out.

With that having been circumlocuted quite nicely, up jumps the Luzerne County Flood Protection Authority yammering on about how dangerous e-bikes can be when ridden on the valley's levee system. Oh boy, we need policies, we need rules, we need restrictions, we means to assert our authority over you reckless e-bike criminalists. All other previously stated priorities are now rescinded. Nevermind about all of that other drool.

I've spent five years getting my health back to where it needs to be while retooling my favorite bike. And when the time comes, the Hummer and I will traverse every goll-danged foot of that levee system, appointed sissies be damned.

One...more...time: F>ck off!

I had a Heart Catheterization and Ventriculography performed at Wilkes-Barre General Hospital yesterday. The results were outstanding. And with a medication change, I figure to be out there on the levee with my e-bike soon enough. As for the Flood Authority pussy, he should probably stick to what he's gotten good at.

You know, watching the floods.

Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Study up

Necessary reading, kiddies.

Life on the Ballot

later