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Monday, March 6, 2023

Vote-buying, WWIII and The Spiders from Mars

Vote-buying, WWIII and The Spiders From Mars (Ties together, no?)

I ripped the following from the Times Leader site:

HARRISBURG — Saying Pennsylvania is in the midst of a workforce crisis, Gov. Josh Shapiro said he will propose a three-year incentive of up to $2,500 a year for newly certified teachers, police officers and nurses when the Democrat unveils his budget plan on Tuesday.

The incentive is a tax credit designed to help address complaints from school boards, police departments and hospitals about the growing difficulty in filling critical positions in public safety, health and education, administration officials said.

Much like the fu>ktard in the white house did with his college debt relief scam, your state level fu>ktard is using the treasury to purchase votes. Why not propose tax credits for the severely shorthanded foodservice outfits.

Trust a former college-trained restauranteur and pest control professional, food sanitation is an enormously important public safety issue. So, eff off, myrmidon lightweights. But unlike those aforementioned groups, restaurant employees are not unionized, hence they have no union dues to be had by the dues-engorged democrats.

And what's with Biden proposing cuts to Medicare Advantage programs??? The Demmies have been repeating the decades-old lie wherein evil Repugs would kill both Medicare and Social Security. Turns out, the Dems are making the mistake of going to war with AARP. Even Putin might not take on such a mighty foe.

Might not matter as both Russia and China seem intent on starting WWIII. North Korea would surely prefer war over food. And Iran is finally poised to produce a nuclear weapon. And still they tell us not to drink heavily.

I figure with enough drinking and enough decibels driving Ziggy Stardust I might not notice the whole thing.


Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Eagles demise and lubricated cucumbers

It's about time the Philthydumpia Eagles' defense is exposed. This is gonna be fun.

Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes can handle a five-man pass rush. Done.

No, I could not subject myself to the State of the Union farce wherein the Dumbo-in-Chief tells us how wonderful things are going thanks entirely to him. Ronald Reagan once said, "The more the plans fail, the more the planners plan." We're seeing that proven of late.

I spoke to an old friend last night. As we were getting caught up, he asked me if I still resided in Wilkes-Barre. I told him that I now live amongst the hills they call Plains. Figure that one. Nah, Wilkes-Barre has the same fatal flaws that nearly every urban center seems to be being destroyed by these days. Politicos that keep going on and on about THE supposed need (???) for more diversity when said diversity brings drugs, crime, violence and complete disdain for community, civility, or self-restraint. At this late date, we need diversity about as much as we need lubricated cucumbers.

Speaking of which, when your local politicos hold press conferences to slap themselves on the back for "creating jobs" when yet another new warehouse is coming to the nearby industrial park, they know full-well that none of us will ever land a job in said warehouses thanks to the Work Opportunity Tax Credit program that pays federal dollars to "incentivize workplace diversity." When I was managing restaurants, this sort of malarkey first appeared as the "Targeted Jobs Tax Credit" where the Feds would pay 40 percent of a new hires salary if that new hire came from a preferred group. If I hired you, I would be on the hook for your entire salary. But if I hired who the Feds wanted hired, I would be on the hook for 40 percent less. See lubricated cucumbers.

I took a pass on that infuriating sophistry.

I recently took a VHS tape to be transfered to disc. Oh, to Celebration DVD in Wyoming. The label said "Mark on ABC" so we figure that means WNEP-TV. I was on Bowling for Dollars in the late 70s, but this tape is of the late 80s variety. You got me, man.

With WNEP on the mental (patient) radar, send this one along to Joe Snedeker...Hoby, my stuffed bed bug.

Wednesday, January 25, 2023

Idiocy: Here, there, just about everywhere

Let's start with the idiocy that IS Russia.

They invade a neighboring country without justification. Yes, yet another one. When that country is supported by it's allies, the idiot untermensch threaten to escalate to nuclear war. So as the idiots see it, after they punch, you are not allowed to counterpunch. As the old yiddish phrase goes, funk them!!! Unterf>cks!!!

Name a neighboring country they have not yet invaded. Good luck with that one. I've invited you to fail.


Luzerne County Council rejected a proposal for a home rule do-over in favor of amending the charter? And that would change what? Be they corrupt commissioners or inept council pretenders, nepotism and fiscal malfeasance rule the day. It's well past time for voting with your feet.

Enuf with that homespun version of idiocy. I'm getting agitated. A friend at the Times Leader warned me some time ago about writing when I'm angry. Great advice.

Look, I'm no Archimedes but our county "leaders" need to find the charts leading towards financial buoyancy and... stop hiring friends, relatives and lovers.

Keep voting that straight party ticket and expecting change. Keep shooting yourselves in the foot. Oh, and keep paying for your own idiotic ineptitude.


We are Norvegians. Yes, V as in Norvegians. Look it up.


Monday, January 23, 2023

Photo Flapdoodle (why the hell not?)

Mom always promised me it wasn't so.

Thursday, January 19, 2023

Thirty-some days 'til March

Being that I'm now a senior type (according to the calendar) was I supposed to have matured my way past the Bazooka Joe addiction?

If so, I figure I need me one of those newfangled medications laced with side-effect powder.

Ain't been too interested in sharing my thoughts here of late. Been busy with adult concerns such as bicycles, scooters and slot car track. So, as my grandmother so loudly predicted so long ago, I'm still child-like after all these decades. Sure beats being like them there road-raging grownups.

Anyways, just idly sitting here and watching insanity passing as normality is entertaining beyond possibility. Around the globe, the bad actors have been acting out, with a few even pounding on the well-worn war drums. To worry about any of it brings on thought hematomas. Here at home, the Democrats are still claiming to have the solutions to the problems they perpetuate for a living. The Republicans have been exposed as being Satan's offspring. Social Darwinism runs amok. White people suck. And, yes, I invented the trapezoid. And anyone who says otherwise majored in Lincoln Logs.

By the way, for a nominal fee I will teach you how to calculate the square footage of any trapezoid. A vexing challenge that pops up way, way too often. You're welcome.

After much consideration, I really do want to meet my father now that I've found him. I mean, I've hoped for six decades. I want to meet him without flying 2,900 miles, that is. Amtrak can get me from Chicago to Portland, Oregon and relatively inexpensively. Problem is (get this) I'm on a fixed income. Gotta keep an eye on the spending. Makes Wifey very nervous. For a second or two, I considered GoFundMe but figured people would react very negatively to such an undertaking. You know, Give ME money. Still chewing on all of that.

If you're up for a serious road trip, gimme a buzz. You're driving. Since I suffered a seizure, Wifey does not want me driving.

So i'm kinda bored, but March is coming very, very soon. For me, March brings weather more favorable to cycling. The Hummer has undergone a serious reworking and I am ready to roll.


Tuesday, November 8, 2022

It's over!

Thank goodness this electioneering is all but behind us. I have not seen this many criminals proudly on display since taking in G.A.R. sporting events.

Speaking of that shuttered correctional facility used as a high school, now that our three high schools have merged into one my grandsons asked for my thoughts when I offered this: If a girl offers you drugs, she's from Meyers. If a girl offers you sex, she's from G.A.R. Nailed it!

This guy posted a picture of the demolition of the former WNEP building and it got us to giggling about my ill-fated appearance on Bowling for Dollars with Jay Kristopher.

See, before you got on set and rolled, you sat on toadstools in Hatchy Malatchy Land so he could scribble notes on a cue card about you before he shoved a microphone into your face on camera. Basic interview stuff like where you work, go to school, reside, etc. So we talked about cooking at Percy Brown's which he was very impressed with. Then we gabbed about attending L.C.C.C. As I'm seconds away from stepping out from behind a plywood barrier, my mind is rehearsing Percy Brown's, L.C.C.C., Wilkes-Barre. Done. So the stagehand slides the plywood out of the way, I step out and Jay leans in with "Who's going to win the Super Bowl?" Huh? What? Dude, what the f>ck? The actual bowling went even worse.

I recently sat with a candidate for state representative and her father. It was doubly fun for me since her dad and I bowled together in high school. True story: We participated in a statewide junior bowling tournament. Now, that's statewide, mind you. We rolled at the old YMCA in Williamsport. Nevermind the harrowing road trip in an 1837 Corvair. We rolled on a pair of lanes on which the second highest series of all time was recorded by Dave Wilcox, a former Professional Bowling Association member.

As soon as I released my first offering, I knew this was going to be a good night. I struck and struck and struck some more. It's been a while, but I believe I rolled a 709 series. Not bad for a 17-year-old. Pretty damn good if you happen to have rolled it in a junior bowling tournament. So anyway, months pass and it's all but forgotten until the awards day ceremony in the Coughlin auditorium. the presenter mentions our appearance at the tournament and announces that I finished 112th. 112th!!! Gee, that's impressive. Not!

When the assembly was over and I wandered away, I was still having trouble processing this. 111 junior bowlers threw higher than that!?! Really? So which is worse? Bowling for dollars or for trophies?

This was my first time voting as a resident of Plains, so I was visiting my new polling place for the very first time. And what I learned was that there six or seven identical versions of Medic 2.

Gotta check my fantasy team.

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Effs for darn near everyone.

I just continue to sit here and watch while the end days play out.

The pathetic Dems have been trying to focus on Adolf Saddam Trump, even though he's no longer in office, because of Joe Biden's seemingly endless list of failures: his border crisis, exploding inflation, energy costs, food costs, his troubling attempts to push legalized murder (abortion) onto the nation, his massive spending on foolhardy climate change ideology, his disastrous Afghanistan pullout and on and on. Eff him. Not to mention his cackling, giggling vice whatever. Eff to her.

Even Hillary is out riding her tired broom again. Now she claims the "deplorables" are card-carrying nazis. Funny thing with her is how she was content with influence peddling when the democrats denied her 'her' presidency. But when the republicans did the very same thing she became a vitriolic, name-calling, spiteful witchipoo. Eff her!

And while average Americans are trying not to go financially tits-up, silly Joe tells us we're doing better than before he took office. And with a straight face, no less. With that noted, he hands out a presidential medal to Elton John. So he IS out of his fu>king mind. Proof positive.

You tell me, man. If we needed one face to attach to the phrase serial killer, could we do better than John Fetterman's? Methinks not. Eff off, pretty boy!

Russia wants to start calling Europe the European Theater after a nuke flies and a wider military conflict erupts. Figure that one. Meanwhile China is obviously spoiling for a fight in the Pacific. Eff them! They should stick to germ warfare, something they've proven they're good at.

Luckily, the NFL season is upon us, so we can spend our time not watching the streaming channels we refuse to pay for. Billionaires suck, because billionaires are never content with billions. And eff them, too!


Friday, September 9, 2022

No Don, No biggie

So, I missed the big Save America rally. Not really sure why, but the tickets never arrived. Same thing happened to another couple I know of. I suspect that the tickets were denied because I refused to donate cashish to the relentless Trump campaign (or whatever they call it) for down-ballot candidates. Thing is, I have never given a penny to any political candidate. Not once. Not even close.

Ain't no big thing. It's not like I was waiting on concert tickets. I watched the local news the next day only to learn that approximately 300,000 of those dangerous folks threatening democrcy did receive theirs. F>ck you, Biden. Do what you're told by your foreign handlers and quit with the pathetic attempts at cognitive thought. And, again, f>ck you and yours. God (sorry) only knows, you're dry-f>cking all of ours.

I see Governor Wolf made like a true democrat with his electioneering executive order. There's another conniving sumbitch that needs a seriously overdue clip to the lip. I think Republicans need to make like the sickening opposition and vote thrice. It's only fair.

Enough with all of that grotesque morass-a-thon. More ass? That's what young Markie used to think.

Guess what I did to enhance the NFL experience last night. I bought a 30-pack of beer. First one since March 2017. I've done everything asked of me by the medical professionals. Despite the Stroke, I've been increasing the level of exercise. I've shed quite a few pounds, dropping from 229 to my preferred fighting weight of 205.

Anyway, I've been a good boy. So much so, I intend to tell my primary care physician about the 30-pack. In my damaged mind, you gotta let loose every five years or so. It's not like I'm one of those pansexual, drug-addled leftists, for whom everyday seems to be yet another intoxicated threesome. No rules. No judgments. You know, no more catholicism allowed in Amerika.

The doc can't climb up my back too far, this morming 27 of those aforementioned brews were still tucked in here in the man bunker. Beer, batteries, ammo...seems I'm ready for the leftist's utopian tyranny.

How about this one? Being that we've escaped from Wilkes-Barre's much-heralded diversity and it's fast collapsing neighborhoods, where do we think I'd likely go looking for new friends here in the new 'burgh?

Yepper, you nailed it.

Same as it ever was, sans the zip code.

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Safer this!

So, Joe Biden came to town for an invitee-only event and tried to portray Defundocrats as the true pro-law enforcement party ahead of the November midterms. I suppose we law-abiding types should forget about that ill-advised, sad and ultimately destructive "defund the police" command that flowed from the left as the permanently-tanned insurectionists burned city after city.

He touted his "Safer America" plan in which assault weapons are denied to card-carrying Americans in favor of the Taliban. Typical. Safer for whom? Children? Yeah, go kill your unborn children, insipid Defundocrats.

Besides, without borders, Safe and America go together like oil and water. It's safer in Joe's gated world, not ours.

Ah, but the day-long traffic snarl was fun to watch up this way. People, we cannot function without the cross valley expressway being open. Somehow we managed to before it was even thunk of. Figure that one. But why sweat it as the end of days is seemingly upon us?

Let's revisit it, life before the new cross flood zone highway. North street bridge to Wyoming Avenue. Turn right and proceed to Stull Brothers. Make that left through Luzerne, through the rock cut and into the Back Mountain on the 'Dallas Highway'. Yes, we'll stop at Twin Kiss for a swirl, then we're off to Sandy Beach. Red light after red light after red light. But an adventure nonetheless. These days, they get on the new highway, close their eyes and stand on the accelerator. This is not an adventure, this is progress. (?)

Make that trip in a brand new 1966 Datsun as I once did. Now let's talk about adventurism. The thing couldn't handle a New Haven to Wilkes-Barre excursion. Been there, done that...broken down in Hamlin waiting on an exfil. I think my evil motorhead of a step-dad bought that imported go-cart just to further torture my poor mother. And torture it did.

How's that for an arguably brief aside?

When do we start getting pressured to willingly line up for the untested RumpyCox vaccine? (Will gay men never learn?) I got stuck with Moderna A through Z even though I knew I'd be embarrassed to admit to having done so. And here I am still wearing a f>cking irritating face mask. Sorry, no more bullspit vaccines. I'm done with all of the compounding lies. Done.

I saw the Times Leader video proving that a police advisory committee comprised of citizens was in fact the worst idea possible if the goal was improving policing. I will not miss a chance to repeat myself: Policing is best left to the police. Never you mind those stupid-ass would-be cops. Never you mind Democrats. Most importantly, ignore self-impressed women who cannot even manage a legal license plate.

I got a new toy from Scamazon. Again, I'm embarrassed to admit even glancing at Scamazon, the only retail slime worst than Sprawl-Mart. Anyway, I got almost all of my new toy. It was short a key part. We've been trading emails and it's become obvious that Scamazon will not make good on this mistake on their part. All that they've offered is proof of delivery. Yeah, I've conceded on that. I DID receive a package, a package that was incorrectly packed.

As my past electronic scribblings have shown, once a retail concern is added to my "banned" list it never sees another one of my pennies. Scamazon is now on the list.

No biggie. I can make damn near anything with two wheels roll.

Even Bezos' sh*t. I can't wait to see him marooned in space, provided he takes Elon with him. The adults at NASA won't miss them.


Monday, August 22, 2022

Invasive Adventures

Earlier this week I had a Heart Catheterization and Ventriculoraphy performed at Wilkes-Barre General Hospital. The results were of the desired variety. All good.

Just to be perfectly clear, I'm neither whining nor throwing myself a pity party. It's just that medical adventures have become a mainstay of my new reality. Fret not for me, I'm tougher than I look.

I knew the procedure was necessary and went in there in a positive state of mind. Beforehand I deliberately avoided playing Dr. Google on the interweb so as to not psyche myself out. I knew it had a typical time span of 30 to 60 minutes. Mine ran 64 minutes which surprised me. But, going in there ignorant did in fact unnerve me some when I was on the table staring at the ceiling. No, after being dosed with a radioactive isotope I did not want to watch the proceedings on the drive-in movie screen that was in my face. Go ahead and make grafitti on the walls of my heart but leave me alone now that the sedative has kicked in.

Yes, the nurse applied that aforementioned sedative and the apprehension went poof! Markie all gooder now. Get to hackin' Doc.

Anyway, I'm not waiting on a donor or any horror show stuff such as that. Give me my medications, my supplements and my exercises. I'll see you out there on the levee while speedily buzzing appointed pussies with an electric vehicle.

Oh, I landed two tickets for the September 3rd Save America rally with D.J. Trump at the Muckhegan Son Arena.

Be still my heart.