While seemingly every bad actor on our flat Earth is banging a war drum, we have one political party relentlessly distancing itself from Trump while the other works tirelessly to destroy him. Essentially, at the moment we have no leadership at all. Oh goodie.
This one goes out to a friend from Harley Rock, Pa. (or some such 'burgh). Lewis Black says that Earth Day was established so that the drug-crazed youths at the time would have a yearly reminder of what planet they were on. Just so you know, you're still on Earth 'til Mad Vlad Putin goes totally bonkers.
I see the County Council has disclosed which of it's friends and relatives will recieve mucho, mucho Federal dollars to make waste of. Great. It seems they'll finally realize their dream of remodeling the long-dormant Irem Temple mosque...Something the hoi polloi does not give a flying fu>k about.
On a more positive note, Spring is springing up. Heart attack, stroke, yeah...I'm in the mood for some cycling. The retooled Hummer will be rolling within hours. Gotta get me a Go-Pro.
Is'nt it annoying how while businesses want your money, they do not want to be bothered by the likes of you. Go to the dot.com, do not dare call us. And if you do dare to call, get ready for some spanish, a prompt to make a payment, an endless electronic loop and little else. Just cough up your credit card number for auto-payments and go away. Such is the cuerrent state of business.
My first stepfather was as foul-mouthed and violent as one could possibly be. And that was while completely sober. What I witnessed as a child usually comes from the likes of Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Spellanator. I cannot recall how many times he knocked me unconscious. And he constantly browbeat me for not being manly enough...code for mean. I was laced-up and playing hockey on a frozen pond while in 1st grade. Yep, 1st grade. I absolutely loved hockey and quickly grew to love the ultra violence that came along with it. Before playing organized hockey, I mostly played with and against older and bigger kids since younger guys like myself could not skate.
And when I was in the 4th grade, my uncle convinced me that a kid used to such constant pummeling should never accept any guff (off of the ice) from anyone in my age group. In that moment his words clicked. Next came the boxing tutelage. So the physicality, the training, the fondness of a sport replete with violence and cheap shots, the environment I grew accustomed to and a gargantuan chip on my shoulder made me overbearingly aggressive and at times downright mean. Then came the huge growth spurt at 13.
Why am I the way I am?
I'll leave it to you.
Just stay out of the crease!