Yep, I went and got me a Schwinn S-350 rechargable electric scooter.
I'll pause here so you can all enjoy a hearty chuckle at my expense. Go for it.
I took the thing for a 1.1 mile jaunt, and I have to tell you, I giggled my ball bearings off every inch of the way. This thing flat-out hauls ass. And then some.
Of course, at my age, both Wifey and my daughter Ebon said I looked like a jerk while riding the thing away from them. What's up with that? What's with chicks and it always having to be about appearances? And at this point in my life, why would looking like a jerk bother me now?
According to the manufacturers specifications, it'll go 24 miles on a single charge. And while it's top speed is listed as being 20-miles-per-hour, I'm here to tell you that it goes significantly faster than that when pointed straight downhill. Laughing my rusted ball bearings off, I tell you.
Anyway, old men aside, even though 4 of my 5 grandkids are too small to let it rip on this thing just yet, when they do grow into it, they are going to have a frickin' blast. And until then, I'll just have to keep making myself look like a jerk. A motorized jerk, that is.
Then again, if you keep following the lead of the clueless, bed-wetting climate change crowd, one of these "cars" just might be in your immediate future.
Gage Andrew, it seems as if the thing is all yours when next you visit Wilkes-Barre. The "blue bike" went and grew a motor. A very efficient motor, I might add.