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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Couple a things

If you’re able-bodied, can drive a stick and are willing to work long hours when the business climate demands, my office is going to hire a technician or two here in the local market. A classified ad will be appearing very soon.

The compensation levels, the benefits and the chances for advancement are all excellent, just not as good as what secret service agents enjoy.

Tell them I sent you and you’ll likely get tossed out on your ass.

Having a difficult time feeding yourself without the Fedrule Govmint’s help?

Rush on over to Choose My Plate.gov. Michelle will tell you, er, Michelle will help you.

Hmm, wheat germ cakes or rutabaga loaf? What should I do, Michelle?

I’m too young and stupid to make my own choices.

Once every hour during the daytime hours, WILK News/Talk/Facebook features the Bloomberg Market Minute, a one-minute rundown of stocks, commodities prices, the latest economic data and what have you. But I’m not sure as to why.

One day it’s a bear market. Next day the market is bullish. Then the next it’s a bear thing again, quickly gone piggish but sure to be bear all over again. Is it just me?

The price of crude oil surges. Then it slips a tad. It spikes again. Then it drops. But, due to unrest somewhere over there where the sun rises at the wrong time, it’s back up. Then it’s down. And up again. Is it me?

Then we have the economic “recovery” data. Unemployment claims are down one month, up the next, down again and then back up the next. Home starts…up they go, and then back down they slide. It’s me, right?

I dunno. Do we really need hourly updates on any of this volatility on parade?

NFL draft tonight.

Only four months to go and it‘s Nirvana all over again.

Concussions? Bounties on players? C’mon, man! What good is playing tackle football iffin’ their gonna make the delivery of a kill shot and the subsequent adrenaline rush illegal?

Let’s keep this a man’s game. Drop a couple of black beauties, put on some wailing heavy metal, work yourself into a frightening frenzy and then get on out their and hit somebody!!! My eyes are rolling back just thinking about it.

In a fast-devolving world where men are repeatedly brow-beaten towards becoming effeminate, it might as well be soccer.

Later

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