Opinions need not be feared nor suppressed.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Frackahanna

So the raids continue.

Update: Feds seize dredging project records

Honestly, I know not of the sordid details, nor do I care. But know this. Thanks almost entirely to the long-entrenched but now fast-flailing Luzerne County political hierarchy, you'll not see any federal investigators being laid-off anytime soon. Sad but true.

Anyway, here's my quick take on this breaking news.

In Luzerne County, we can't even endeavor to fill a hole in the ground without someone running afoul of the law.

Still wondering how we continually end up 51st out of 50 on practically every measurable category?


And personally, I'm getting a bit fed up with these plea agreements, these slaps on the wrists of the easily corruptible players who sought out personal enrichment rather than societal progress for all involved. Let's start putting these people on trial and see just how many recognizable names spill out as a result.

Let's clean house.

Here's my textual impression of WILK's Steve "I am a Mexican and a feminist" Corbett's daily assault on my ear drums...

I!!! ME! I!!! ME!!! I!!! ME!!!

Years after the initial injection of the facts on the local radar, he's glommed on to yet another issue--hydrofracturing--and he's now posturing himself as NEPA's biggest defender of the watershed. And the folks that actually drove this issue into the limelight long before he ever heard of it recognize him as the belated phony that he is.

Hey, Kung Fu Steve, some of us were here in the NEPA trenches all along while you were off to California sucking up to Michael Jackson.

Frack off!

The Wyoming Valley Sanitary Authority has decided against processing millions upon millions upon millions of gallons of fracking fluids sure to be recaptured from the soon-to-arrive natural gas drilling misadventures.

Not a problem.

I say we allow the gas-drilling companies to release all of the gurgling-to-the-surface fracking fluids into the Susquehanna River, and any of it's many tributaries. You know the now oft-repeated drill: we need energy independence.

Again, not a problem.

So release all of the fracking fluids into the watershed, and after we realize our long-sought-after energy independence from the rest of the fast-unraveling world, we can then begin the tedious and unwanted process of importing safe drinking water to the Marcellus Shale region.

Oh, yeah. And we can finally rename the Susquehanna River.

It's a stupid and antiquated name anyway. Inspired by the likes of that murderous Chief Muckamucka and his long ago vanquished Indian nation--The Muckoquoi.

To hell with all of that ancient history, who massacred who and where. And who massacred who and where as a measure of revenge. And who then massacred who and where once the American Revolution was en vogue.

Why not just relent, why not just admit the inevitable and call the river the Frackahanna River forever more? Why not write the new tales of those (these) long ago pioneering days, when Chief Frackamucka and his entire warring Encana Nation (week-kneed politicos) rode into the area and laid waste to all that dared to stand before them, be they man, beast, or nature.

Don't much matter to me. I ain't hugged any trees while sober.

Fracking fluids or no fracking fluids, I'm still looking forward to FrackFest 2010.

Hopefully, I'll see you out there on the Frackahanna.

Ramming speed, captain!



Don Williams said...

Let's drink to that! A big "Hose Dudes" mug filled right from the CSO in Pittson. You go first...

zorcong said...

I'd do that. I'd go first. I'd drink from that "well" that never stops giving, provided that you control yourself.

I don't want you going all Ralphie from Christmas Story on me again...


Anonymous said...

Fuck Corbett. When he is having sex the dickhead screams his own name!

Anonymous said...

He screams his own name?

And you would know this how?

Anonymous said...

The Mucka-what?

Your screwed-up.

And that's why I read.