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Saturday, April 24, 2010

One step forward, three missteps back

After a dozen years or so of hanging onto a hammer drill all day long, my right elbow is really starting to ache on a continual basis.

It was suggested that I see my doctor about it, but what’s he going to tell me…That’s it’s not a particularly great idea to hang onto a hammer drill all day long much longer than a decade?

Perhaps I should change my party affiliation, join the Democrats, and put in a requisition for some, ahem, medicinal marijuana.

Oh wait. I misspoke. Er, mistyped. That would be the Green Party--the Dems on dope and in disguise.

Did any body hear about the new Obama- inspired Happy Meal at McDonald’s?

It’s awesome. You go through the drive-thru, collect your goodies at the second window, and the people in the vehicle behind you pay for it.

What do you think of the big mass-gathering at the airport yesterday?

You had the Senator from Scranton, as well as the vice president of the entire U.S of A shebang on hand and stumping for the self-enamored turncoat turned turncoat again, Mr. Single Bullet Theory himself, and nobody showed. Well, save for the volunteers, the paid underlings and the locally elected from the same party, that is.

Nobody showed.

And WILK’s Sue Henry, who covered the event for her station, called it “sedate…very uninspired,” and “very flat.”

Politically speaking, I’m thinking that Mr. Single Bullet should have saved one for himself.

When did Earth Day become Earth Week? I must have missed that.

Guess what I did on Earth Day. Why, I injected termiticide into Mother Earth. Yes, yes, I’m destroying the planet. I know, I know. Please stop crying. But it’s either that, or one of Mother Earth’s creations destroys your home. You make the call.

And why is the official Earth Day celebrated during the work week more often than on the weekend, when easily-led people would rush to prove they care?

Seems to me if you tree-huggers want damn near everybody out hugging trees, singing to flowers, thinking (FU>KING!) reverent thoughts alongside the local, leech-filled marsh, or weeping at the site of an illegally dumped tire, you ought to pin this event to a Saturday.

I’m just saying. Don’t shoot me, I’m only the guitar-playing blogger.

It’s been obvious of late that both Luzerne County Controller Walter Griffith and Luzerne County Budget Director Tom Pribula have been doing everything within their limited powers to cut costs and protect the best interests of the taxpayers.

It matters not if you’re still fuming about the last election, and you’re still hesitant to give Griffith any credit at all. If that’s where you’re still stuck at, by all means, leave a comment disparaging him. Go for it. Oh, and make sure to post your usual swill anonymously.

Anyway, while the Dynamic Duo of Griffith and Pribula have been pointing out the waste of or abuse of taxpayer-supplied dollars practically here, there and frickin’ everywhere, the commissioners have again been handing out raises, plus extra paid time off to unionized county employees.

Someone tell me how you can be a half billion dollars in debt and then justify raises as well as more paid leave.

Luzerne County: One step forward, three missteps back.

I see that Gort was allowed to approach Senator Arlen Spector at the big stump event at the airport for the purposes of asking him a few questions.

I am assuming that this impromptu interview was conducted while the vice president and his phalanx of heavily-armed federal bodyguards were still on the scene.

And if that was the case, and if I was also in attendance, at that exact moment when Gort was very up close and personal with the elected members of the ruling class, I’m not sure I’d be able to resist the flaring temptation to yell GUN!!!

Sure, I’d replace what was lost as a result. I mean, what’s a three-pack of jockey shorts going to set me back?

Ill-advised? Sophomoric? Immature? Stupid as all hell?

I plead insanity.

Besides, I was the first juvenile in the history of the country to have received shock treatments for my auto-hostility issues. Right?


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