ssǝɹddns ɹou ɹɐǝɟ ɹǝɥʇıǝu plnoʍ ʎʇǝıɔos ǝǝɹf a that ƃuıʇnɔolɯnɔɹıɔ suıɐʇuoɔ ǝʇıs sıɥʇ

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

People suck

I’ve been a tad busy of late, hence my absence here in the electronic ether.

Between having to work Saturday and participating in the parade here in Wilkes-Barre, that weekend was gone before I knew it.

The parade was nice, the crowd seemed to be what it has been in recent years and the weather was even agreeable. I did notice an uptick in drinking. Well, instead of spiking drinks in plastic cups as is usually the norm, I noticed quite a few people drinking right out of opened beer cans. And we even had an intoxicated parade marcher collapse under the weight of her preferred concoctions of alcohol.

If you think about it, if you’re out there representing your business, your organization or what have you, should you be seen consuming alcohol? Methinks not, but I’m a firm believer in acting professionally when the situation clearly calls for it. You know, a killjoy.

My daughters took in the Scranton parade a few years ago, you know, making the rounds in the party bars and the like. And they came back saying “never again.” Why? Because of the bad behavior of the multitude of people who had consumed way too much alcohol. Soliciting sex. Urinating in inappropriate places. Public vomiting. Being boorish and obnoxious. All the good stuff. And that’s why we need to keep the drinking to a minimum here at our parade.

Another thing that kind of put me off was how the gathering of pitched candies to the parade-goers seemed so frightfully important to the adults rather than to the hordes of children at the curb’s edge. Yeah, the adults, not so much the children, were beckoning us to throw candy, and then they would spring forth to collect it. Embarrassing to watch, it was.

We had 40 pounds of candy to toss. And we also had see-through bags provided by the Citizens’ Voice that were stuffed with coloring books, whiteboards and candy. After I tossed my first bag, some lady followed us up the block barking in Spanish and with her hand actually extended into the cab of the truck. Perhaps we’ll need to take a translator next time. Or a collapsible baton. Maybe pepper spray.

When we arrived at Public Square, the throng of people were surging into the street. And people were darting across the parade route. So I needed to pay attention to my surroundings rather than interact with the crowd. And as I was indiscriminately tossing candy out of the window without looking, some black guy appeared in my window just shouting away. At first, I thought he was screwing around. I thought he was going to crack a smile.

But he wasn’t making a funny, he was pissed off that I did not toss enough candy in the direction of his kids. And I quote, “You’re gonna have to start effing bringing it, man. I got three kids out here!” I was so stunned, it took me a second or two to respond with, “Dude, get a bleeping grip!”
So now the prevailing sense of entitlement is bleeding over into parades?

And then we had the guy who responded to the “I believe” magnet on the door. He yelled into the cab, “You still believe? Pffft!” I said, “Yeah, you believe that?”

Man, this city has no shortage of negative people who’s vision is permanently blurred by their searing negativity. If it’s so bad here, if it’s that completely bad, take your free candy and move to one of those Utopian places.

Oh, and then there was the lady who took serious offense to the custom-made ribbons I had put on the front quarter-panels. As she was hanging out in our group before we started rolling, she encountered the “I support more troops than you do” ribbon, as well as the “My ribbon is better than your ribbon” stick-on.

Uh, it’s a joke! Get it? Lighten up, people. Go take your ulcer medication and chase it down with a fifth of vodka. Like they do at the Scranton parade.

At the reviewing stand, I pitched a goodly handful of miniature Tootsie Rolls over the roof of the truck in attempt to be the first person to pepper the important dignitaries. I haven’t seen anything in the newspapers, so I’m assuming I did not put an eye out.

On a personal aside, I normally drive an F-250 XL, with my backup truck being an F-150. And these new Ford Rangers, these things are akin to Campbell’s soup cans with wheels. And from the swamped “Note to Self” department, even my smallish 7-year-old grandson complained that the truck was too small for our parade-going purposes.

So, in conclusion, the parade is still a great event. But as is increasingly the case as our society continues to devolve, people suck.

They say this place is state-of-the-art…

Coal Street Ice Rink

The 2011 Wyoming Valley Riverfest is scheduled for June 17 through June 19th.

Be mindful, if you’re planning on participating, the 17th is a non-paddling festival-like event. The paddling will take place on Saturday the 18th, and Sunday the 19th. You can paddle on one or on both days.

For more info as the date draws nearer…River Common

To rent kayaks and canoes…Endless Mountain Outfitters or Susquehanna River Adventures



Anonymous said...


Can we ride with you next year?

The Marcellus Boyz

Anonymous said...

In a Ranger?