Opinions need not be feared nor suppressed.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

What this country needs is a beer storm

I recently made mention of the NEPA Blogging Council, even though there is no group operating under that name. There is a real consortium of NEPA bloggers that meet every now and again, the name of which escapes me at this very moment. It's, it's something like The NE Beer Stormers & Operatic Society. Something like that. I dunno.

I've been invited to quite a few of these brainstorming events, but I missed all but one. Even though I rarely make it to these sorts of think tank gatherings, I did enjoy the hell out of the one I did attend. I met some interesting people. We talked sports, pop culture and politics, politics and politics. In one sitting, we tried to cure all that ails the planet. Kind of like Woodstock, except without all of the public fornication and overrated musical acts.

I drank enough fermented weeds to inebriate the entire French navy. All 19 of them. I took some pictures and a secret video, the posting of which got me damn near banned for life. I also learned that the then NEPA activist of all known activist had gonads the size of fleas malformed by internal growth regulators. And I got to argue at length with some guy direct from Allentown who's opinions on every freaking issue that mattered started and ended with "Bush did it."

Yeah, one of those.

Anyway, I was reading this tidbit today--Unemployment Benefits to Expire Sunday After Senate Stalemates On Extension--which got my always swirling vortex of a mind to swirling off of it's already fatally corrupted axis. The article explains that the 535 jackasses plus-two currently stinking up Washington D.C. can't seem to get anything done anymore without a scrum. And in this case, a lengthy one.

The latest stalemate, however, produced a rare, late-night partisan floor brawl between two scrappy senators.

In the red corner is Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Ky., whose decision not to seek re-election this year has made him a wildcard. He has blocked a $10 billion bill that extends the benefits for 30 days because he wants to lay out how the extension will be paid for, preferably with unallocated stimulus funds.

In the blue corner is Sen. Richard Durbin, D-Ill., who, along with other Democrats told Bunning no way because the extension is an emergency and shouldn’t come with any offsets.

The battle lasted for hours Thursday when Durbin sought unanimous consent, a move that forced Bunning to object each time to uphold his filibuster.

So the unemployment extension and the COBRA deal will have to wait until after the next scrum. This following blurb is classic...

Bunning decried the move and was joined by Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., who accused Democrats of a “sneak attack.” Corker vowed to stay on the floor with Bunning all night.

Durbin said he was defending out-of-work Americans, that he would love to be home because he is “no spring chicken."

No spring chicken, eh?

Okay then, say it with me, kiddies...TERM...EFFING...LIMITS!!!

All of which reminds me of the president's ad-hoc job summit. Yeah, they sat around, said high-minded things in addition to taking smarmy-sounding shots at each other. And then they had this laughable health care summit, again, at the president's behest, by which they repeated the steps from the equally ineffective job summit. And our trainee president even had to take a sophomoric jab at his former presidential opponent. And with John McCain's temper, he was probably thinking to himself, "Twenty years ago, I would have popped that no good sumbitch."

To that self-absorbed president of ours, I would refer him to something Lady Thatcher said years ago: "Consensus is the negation of leadership."

Those overrated pundits on the cable news networks usually refer to this phenomenon as gridlock, or partisan infighting. But I liken it to employing people who are ill-equipped to handle the tasks sprawled out before them. Thing is, if you elect buffoons in the first place, why the sudden surprise at all of the nonstop buffoonery?

Yeah, I know the deal. Collectively, Congress sucks. But not your congressman. Nah, he deserves to be reelected in perpetuity, like, until they have to wheel him in strapped to a hand truck for the next regularly scheduled scrum. He's really, really, really good, just like all of the other (insert favorite team, I mean, insert preferred political party here).

Anyhow, what came sailing out of the aforementioned wildly spinning vortex this morning is as follows...

If the NE Beer Stormers & Operatic Society were to take Washington D.C. by lethal force, if we were to imprison for life the 535 jackasses plus-two, and if we were to seize the reins of power for ourselves, would that produce a different result?

Methinks not.

But be mindful, if we were to take power, and if we were to legislate by way of barrel after barrel of fermented weeds and a jukebox, things couldn't get any worse. In fact, there's a better than average chance that things would get noticeably better and fast.

Sez me, President Lonesome Cowboy Mark.

Vice President Gort, on to the next beer storm!!!

Er, beer summit, that is.



Anonymous said...

I think you all would have a good chance of doing much better... that is, until you vote down term limits.

Tom Borthwick said...

Speaking of your Blogging Council, I wanted to let you know I'm an avid reader and enjoy your blog.

I have yet to meet anybody on this elusive Council, though. I feel left out.

I added you to my blogroll, I hope you don't mind! Thanks for putting me here, btw!

Gort said...

Did someone say beer?

You seem to be calling for a meeting of the Saturday Overtime Committee and Operatic Society that I serve as Musical Director and is led by El Presidente Pope George Ringo. We should coordinate the gathering with Michael Rennie, the unofficial Social Secretary of the Northeast Blogging Council.

I'm game. Give me a call

zorcong said...

Herb, I figure you nailed it! My stance on term limits is...after I'm elected, I'll accept no limits on my term.

Tom, thanks and all. I link to every "writer" on the local scene, despite their political leanings. I suppose it gives visitors an idea of the mindset of the folks that bother.

Gort, I will fire up the Gort phone later on today.

Klattu! Barada! Michelob!